mindset

Learning the wrong lesson from trying and failing

Failure is often misunderstood. We try something challenging, it doesn’t work out, and we feel the sting of disappointment. But failure isn’t the villain—it’s a way to learn. Trying and failing isn’t just about facing setbacks; it’s an opportunity to gain insights and adjust our approach. With each attempt, we gather lessons that make success more likely the next time we try.

The problem arises when we misinterpret what failure is telling us. Instead of seeing failure as an opportunity for growth, we often learn the wrong lesson: that trying leads to failure, and failure should be avoided. This mindset can lead to giving up entirely, shutting the door on future attempts. Because failure feels uncomfortable, many avoid trying again, believing it’s safer not to take risks or face setbacks.

Avoiding failure comes at a cost. Without the willingness to try, there is no room for growth. Stagnation replaces progress, and opportunities slip away before they’re fully explored. While failure feels like a stopping point, it’s actually an invitation to refine your approach and try again.

To make the most of failure, our perspective needs to shift. Instead of treating failure as proof of inadequacy, it should be treated as feedback. Failure shows us what didn’t work, points to areas for improvement, and helps us better prepare for future chances. Seeing failure this way takes the pressure off, making it less personal and more practical.

The key to real growth is persistence. If you try, fail, and stop, you’ve missed the lesson. But if you try, fail, reflect, and try again, you’ve started to build a pathway to success. Every failure can help you learn something new and refine your skill, mindset, or strategy. It’s not about avoiding failure; it’s about making progress through it.

The next time you face failure, remember: it’s not the end of the journey. Treat it as a chance to learn, adjust, and try again. Failure doesn’t tell the whole story—it’s just one chapter in the journey toward success.

Find someone better than you

Personal growth can sometimes stagnate. What once felt like steady improvement may suddenly plateau, leaving progress at a standstill. To ensure this doesn’t happen, it’s important to keep expanding your knowledge and experience. Growth should be a continuous process, but maintaining it requires intentional effort.

One way to push through stagnation is to seek out people who are better than you at what you do. Look for individuals who excel in the same area, observe their methods, and learn from their successes as well as their failures. It’s not about copying them but about finding inspiration and discovering ways to refine your own approach.

In addition to learning from those in your field, look for people who excel in completely different areas. This opens the door to new perspectives and innovative strategies. Someone accomplished in a different domain might offer ideas or approaches you never would have considered on your own. Learning across disciplines often sparks creativity and expands your ability to think outside the box.

Studying and learning from others is an active process. Take time to identify what you can take away from their experiences. What challenges have they overcome? What strategies led them to their success? Dive deeper than just their results and focus on the mindset and decisions behind those outcomes.

Finally, make lifelong learning a priority. Personal growth doesn’t have a set destination. To keep progressing, make it a habit to regularly seek new knowledge, revisit your goals, and embrace curiosity. Growth is about more than just becoming better—it’s about expanding your perspective and evolving in ways that make you more adaptable and resilient.

By learning from others, both in your field and beyond, you can avoid stagnation and ensure that your personal development remains dynamic and full of possibility. Keep challenging yourself to grow, and you’ll find endless opportunities to refine your knowledge and skills.

Give me a problem

“What’s your biggest problem right now?” This question can be one of the most powerful tools for selling, whether it’s yourself, a technology, or a service. The idea is simple: by directly addressing a real and concrete issue the recipient is struggling with, you immediately demonstrate your value, engage them emotionally, and create a productive dialogue.

The key is to work with an actual, specific problem the recipient cares about. This isn’t about vague concepts or abstract ambitions—it’s about something tangible and relatable. A real problem resonates because it’s something the audience can logically understand and emotionally feel. It should be specific enough that it can be broken down into actionable details, allowing you to dive into solutions that matter.

Here’s where choosing the right level of detail is crucial. For example, saying, “I want to cure cancer” is too broad and lofty to be actionable. However, if you refine it to, “I want to cure cancer, but I’m struggling with researchers spending too much time writing reports to secure funding,” it becomes a problem you can tackle. Similarly, “The company needs to increase revenue” is too generic, whereas “We need to boost revenue, and several consultants currently don’t have ongoing projects” is grounded and solvable. The same applies in tech: “The development team isn’t delivering all the functionality users want” is abstract, but “The team spends most of their time on non-functional tasks and can’t deliver new features quickly enough” identifies specific challenges and barriers.

Starting with the recipient’s biggest problem allows you to demonstrate your skills in problem-solving, analysis, and creativity. By breaking the problem into smaller components, you can sketch alternatives, evaluate solutions “on paper,” and engage them in a focused conversation about possibilities. It’s not just about providing answers—it’s about encouraging clear thinking and collaboration.

This method has wide-ranging applications. In a job interview, you can show your ability and expertise by addressing the company’s key challenges. In sales, you can frame your product or service as the solution to their major pain points. During demonstrations, you can showcase your capabilities by working with relatable, real-world examples.

At its core, this approach builds credibility and trust. It’s a way to prove your ability to navigate and tackle tough challenges while focusing on what truly matters to the recipient. By connecting with someone’s most pressing issue, you encourage collaboration, deepen the dialogue, and position yourself as someone who delivers results.

So next time you’re pitching yourself, a product, or an idea, try starting with this question: “What’s your biggest problem right now?” It’s a way to cut through distractions and focus on creating real value. Sometimes, the simplest approach is the most impactful.